fear of confrontation.

I have come to realize that I can get my thoughts out more clear and unscrambled if I write them down instead of verbally saying them aloud. I have always had a hard time communicating with people, not with general conversations, but mostly confrontations. Anytime I need to confront someone about a particular matter, my words either get all jumbled and I can't say exactly what I mean or I just chicken out and don't even confront them. I have come to the understanding that my doing of these actions is a mixture of things: fear and lack of familiarity. 

Could the fear be because I am afraid of rejection? Sometimes I think that suits with certain moments and other times not. Or could the fear be just a straight fear of asking somebody something of great importance, or even just a simple question? I was always shy when I was younger, and I believe that this could be a result of that. However, working at menards has actually served some good in this area, and my fear of confrontation has minimized. 

Along with the fact that I have a fear of confrontation, a lack of familiarity of this area is a result of that. Not being pushed into actually confronting someone about an issue all of my life has finally caught up with me. I think that once I actually understand that the answer may not always be what I would like to hear, that should still not keep me from asking. 

Someone who has always pushed me to confront people and be stern is Chad Edwin. He would pretty much push me into certain situations where my heart was racing and I was literally scared. Even though the situation would be something like, confronting my parents or a weird guy at work, I was not use to any of it. However, Chad never gives up on me, never has once. He would just keep pushing me and tell me to keep trying and to be more firm. Without him pushing me into these situations and being along side of me, I think I would still be where I was when I had a fear of confrontations. So Thank You Chad, for pushing me into the deep end, even though I was scared... you believed in me. I Love You.